There are very few marital problems that cause as much heartache and devastation as infidelity. Money worries, disagreements about children or a serious illness can strain a relationship, but because of the deep sense of betrayal, infidelity undermines the foundation of marriage itself.

But, divorce doesn't have to be the inevitable resolution to such cheating. When you say, is there hope to save a marriage, you have already answered the question. As long as you want it, theres hope.

Counseling, healing time, and the mutual goal of rebuilding the relationship can help some couples emerge from infidelity with a stronger and more honest relationship than before.

After an affair is discovered, there are some specific things you should do.

For instance, you need to get support. This can come from family, friends, a pastor, or a therapist. But, dont try to face this situation on your own.

Next, you need to give each other some space. There is a lot of emotional stress placed on a relationship at this time. By taking an emotional time out you give yourselves time to regroup.

Finally, take the time you need to sort things out. Dont delve into the intimate details of the affair with your partner right away. Postpone these discussions until you can talk without being accusatory or destructive. It may even be a good idea to air out your feelings with someone who is a good listener before you can have a constructive conversation with your spouse.

You also need to define what an affair is to you. For instance, most people would consider a sustained physically sexual relationship to be an affair. Others would consider a one night stand to have violated the marital vows. Still others would consider feeling sexually drawn to another without any physical activity to be adulterous.

Talk about these feelings. Make sure that you are on the same page regarding what an affair will mean for your marriage.

If there has been a single instance of straying, there is a good chance of reconciliation. Multiple incidences of infidelity make it more difficult for the marriage to be sustained.

So, if you are wondering is there hope to save a marriage the answer is that there is, but you have to handle things after the revelation of the affair correctly.

Suzanne

Many of the great poems throughout human history have been on the topic of heartbreak. Some of these include Never Try to Trick Me With a Kiss by Sylvia Plath, My Letters! All Dead. Paper, Mute, and White, by Elizabeth Barrett Browning, and Speak! by William Woodsworth.

A poem is simply the outpouring of your soul set to form. The form of a poem is important because it gives structure to your thoughts.

Poetry used to be far more stylized than it is today. For instance, the Sonnet, which was popular in William Shakespeares day, has very rigid rules including exactly 14 lines and a formal a-b-a-b rhyme structure and end in a couplet.

Other strictly controlled poetry includes the Japanese Haiku (one line with five syllables, the next with seven syllables, and a final line with five syllables) and the limerick (which usually isnt appropriate as a heartbroken poem!)

Modern poetry tends toward free verse. Free verse can have rhymed or unrhymed lines and no metrical pattern. What sets free verse apart from prose is that the poems have complex patterns of one sort or another that readers or listeners will perceive to be part of a coherent whole.

While some people can just start writing a heartbroken poem and produce something that captures their feelings, other people need to go through a process. If you are one of the latter, consider this:

1. State your purpose if your purpose is to wash that guy (or girl) right out of your hair youve got your purpose.

2. Decide on the form of the poem.

3. Write down your thoughts so that you can organize them in poetical form.

4. Use descriptive images to express your feelings. Unhappiness, despair, or grief are all abstract concepts. Bring them to life by using concrete similes or metaphors.

5. Use poetic devises to make your poem more poem like. These can include rhyme, meter assonance, alliteration, and repetition.

6. Put your most powerful statement at the end of your poem.

7. Edit the poem when you finish it. Most great poems are not written in one draft. Get feedback from your friends on how to make it better.

When you are writing your heartbreak poem, you might want to consider listening to music to set the mood. If you had a couples song or other music that you associate with the relationship, that might help set the stage for writing the poem.

Put the element of surprise into your heartbreak poem. Perhaps end the poem with a resolution to move on. Not only will this make it a good poem, it may also help you to actually move on.

You have to decide whether to share your poem with others or keep it in a journal for yourself. But, dont toss it out or burn it. The effort you put into a heartbreak poem memorializes your feelings right here and right now. Its an important chapter in your life. Dont throw it away.

Suzanne

One of the homemade gift ideas for boyfriend revolves around food. You can fix him a 5 course dinner or bake brownies. The idea is that you put all of your love into the project.

If you are a good cook, you probably have a specialty. Get him hooked on your cookies, soup, or special appetizer early and youll have a gift that will last for life (or at least until the end of the relationship).

If you are not an expert in the kitchen, consider a less ambitious project. You can make cookies or brownies from a boxed mix. Dinner is easy when made in a crock pot. Salad kits make tossed salads a cinch. You can make a decent treat or meal from items you can find in the grocery stores prepared section.

While the way to a mans heart may be through his stomach, you can also find homemade gift ideas for boyfriend elsewhere. If you are a crafty person, you can probably think of a dozen great presents.

For instance, make a scrapbook of the times youve shared together. While he may not be into the scrapbooks youve made for personal interests, he will love to see pictures of the two of you together arranged as only an expert scrapbooker can do.

If you have skills in the ceramics or pottery field, consider a manly useful object that you can make yourself. If hes a professional, consider desk accessories. If hes a hobbyist, consider something that can hold his nails or small tools.

If you can do silkscreen, you can make funny t-shirts that refer to inside jokes. These t-shirts are not available in any store because they are a reflection of your unique relationship.

If you are good with a computer, you can probably think of many homemade gift ideas for boyfriend. For instance, put together a rotating screen saver with photos of you as a couple. Print out and laminate a poem which has been beautifully designed. Make a mouse pad that reflects your personality and your love. If you are a programmer, you can even program a simple script that gives him something useful to do.

Another idea is to start a private, password protected blog where you can chronicle your relationship.

There are many homemade gift ideas for boyfriend. Catalog your strengths and come up with one that fits your relationship.

Suzanne

Celebrity culture has played into this in part. Many well known actresses such as Demi Moore, Madonna, and Susan Sarandon have married younger men. These women have put their stamp of approval on the mature women dating younger men concept.

But, society has changed as well. Not too long ago, women married young and marriages were for life. The nuclear family unit was the basis for society and anything that deviated from this norm was shunned. Therefore, there werent many opportunities for mature women dating younger men.

But, since divorce has become more prevalent, there are any number of women in their late 30s and 40s who are looking for partners. When they look at men their own age, they often dont like what they see.

First of all, men who are in this age range are caught up in their own careers and interests. They are less likely to be supportive of a womans career. Because women have moved into managerial and entrepreneurial roles, they sometimes need partners who can be the man behind the woman. Men their own age are reluctant to take on this role.

Also, mature women dating men their own age are likely to be disappointed in the sex. A woman peeks sexually in her late 30s. Well into her 40s, she is in her sexual prime. A man, however, begins to loose steam at this age. Hes just not able to keep up with her surging needs.

Younger men find these women, newly confident in their sexual prowess, to be very attractive. Mature women know what they want in bed and can communicate that to their lovers.

Mature women dating younger men can also provide the guys with a sense of financial stability that allows the men to take risks with their careers. One younger man was able to pursue a career as a concert pianist because his older woman lover was able to cover their living expenses while he became known in his field. Other men have been able to pursue graduate school or start businesses due to the financial support of their older girlfriends.

Women have, for years, benefited from the generosity of older partners. Now, men are able to do so as well.

If you want to meet a person outside your own age range, you have to go where they are. For instance, a mature woman wanting to date a younger man may want to join a gym. A younger man looking for a professional woman might join a tango class. There are also places for such couples to meet online. The term for this is cougar dating.

Expect that the trend of mature women dating younger men to grow as societys expectations about sex roles evolve.

Suzanne

Whatever the reason is that you strayed, you already know that you've broken your spouse's heart and you've let them down terribly. I say this not to make you feel even guiltier than you feel, but to impress upon you the mayhem that you have caused. Recovering from the situation that your marriage is now in, will take a focused, committed and detailed plan.

After adultery, you must come to terms with what you have done. Often times we find it difficult to accept the part that we have played in our own mess. It's human nature to want to hide from what we have done and not take responsibility for what we have done. However, you'd be very wrong to try and hide from the fallout of your affair. Instead accept what you've done, own up to what you've done and tell your spouse you're ready to do what ever it takes to save your marriage.

The truth is your spouse might or might not believe you're serious about saving your marriage. An affair puts great strain on a couple. A good and healthy marriage thrives on mutual trust and commitment. When that trust and commitment is broken, it is pretty hard, but not impossible, to get back. So you're going to have to be prepared to work to get it back and also be prepared for it to take as long as it takes to it get back.

Often times, after adultery, the spouse who has been cheated on is angry and will find different ways to hurt their cheating spouse. If your spouse is lashing out at you emotionally then for some time, at least, you're going to have to take it. Of course this emotional lashing out shouldn't go on for months, but for now, initially, this is something you're going to have to put up with.

What you say now you must mean. After adultery you will find that everything you say will be scrutinized and examined by your spouse. This again is only natural, but you must be careful not to get caught in any further lies. Right now you have a job and a half to win back your spouse, imagine the setback if you were discovered in more lies. So whatever you need to come clean about, come clean about it and avoid getting caught in any further lies.

Should you stay or should you go? Only you can know the answer to that. But if there is still love between you and your spouse, then it has to be worth trying to save your marriage.

Suzanne

Biology is not destiny. There are many instances of older women dating younger men. Take Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher for instance. But, on the whole, you will usually find younger women dating older men.

Even though birth rates have plunged and many men forgo having children altogether, the idea of dating a younger woman hasnt gone away. In fact, having a sexy girlfriend or wife may be more important if children are not a factor in the relationship.

Similarly, even though many women are capable of financially supporting their children without a mans help, the idea of dating older men is still prevalent. Though women can even have children through artificial insemination or adoption with no man involved, younger women dating older men is still strong.

Part of the appeal for men is that they want glamorous, sexy, young looking trophies to show off to their friends. Just as they want the best cars, watches, boats, and airplanes, they want the woman they are dating to be a status symbol.

For younger women, dating an older man may also be a status symbol. A woman who can attract an older, wealthy man may feel more secure about her sexual appeal.

In many cases, when an older man dates a younger woman, he has been married previously. He might have children from that relationship that the new girlfriend has to cope with. He might also not have as much money as it appears at first because he may be providing financial support to those children and an ex wife.

Because hes been burned before, women in these relationships have to understand the realities of dating an older man. For instance, he may ask for a prenuptial agreement before marriage. This doesnt mean he thinks a marriage will fail, but if it does, he wants to protect himself.

In general, older men will look for good looks in the younger women they are dating. She will have charm, education, and social skills to help him advance in his career.

Younger women often pick up their dates at charity events and fundraisers, high end hotel bars, expensive restaurants, exclusive country clubs, and at gatherings for high end hobbies such as boating shows. Older men know that the single women gathered at such places are often on the lookout for them.

Younger women dating older men is a phenomenon that has gone back to the days when the Biblical commandment go forth and multiply was a priority for the species. But even though the planet is overpopulated, some biological facts dont change. That is why younger women dating older men is still a main factor in society today.

Suzanne

As women get older, they have a higher chance of meeting people due to the fact that there is a much higher woman to men ratio for older women. The older the woman, the more competition they are going to have. At the age of 50, the odds are increased even higher and the competition goes up again.

As for men, as they age they have a much lower rate due to an increase in suicide and death. So, there are less men looking to meet women as age increases. It is well known that most often women outlive men. This makes the ratio of men to women different and more sided toward women with increase in age.

People sometimes choose to let their friends set them up for a date. There can be good and bad things with this situation. If it is a successful relationship, it is wonderful. However, it is much more common that it does not work out and then friends can become offended or feel like they are in the middle. They may very well have the best intentions, but you need to do some serious thinking before you decide to accept this date and their help that they are offering.

There are ways to increase your odds of finding the right person to be in your life. Look closely at yourself. What picture are you giving to others? How do they see you? This is very important to look at and figure out. Look carefully at yourself to find out if there are changes that you need to make in order to be more presentable and appealing to potential mates. It is imperative to make yourself as desirable as possible if you want the best odds of finding a partner.

Are you the type of person that starts conversations? Most often, this is the best way to meet a new person. Take the initiative and be the first to talk to someone. Create an open door of potential for a new friend or possibly more. In some cases, you have to take the initiative yourself and stick your neck out. Take the chance and talk to people to make sure that you can take advantage of every possible opportunity to meet someone that could potentially turn into a relationship.

Starting a conversation or talking to people does not have to be a complex task. It is very simple. Introduce yourself. Tell them your name. Comment about their outfit or what they are wearing. Tell them about something that you witnessed them doing and what you thought about it. It is simply a matter of talking and starting a conversation. You just need to open the door.

Suzanne

It's much more common today, only because people are more open about it today. Older women dating younger men used to do so more secretly because society viewed it as strange. All while older men did the same thing with no real social repercussions.

Older women dating younger men may do so because the men make them feel younger. This is a natural response. Sometimes older men tend to slow down a bit too early for some women. This is because men and women reach their peaks at different times.

Men, according to statistics, reach their sexual peak very young, between 18 and 25. Women tend to reach their sexual peak around age 35-45. This alone is a good explanation of why an older woman would be attracted to a younger man.

Viewing it this way, though, makes it seems older women are on the prowl. While some older women do go in pursuit of younger men, it's not always this way. There are many young men who are on the lookout for older women.

Many men find older women very attractive. They see a mature woman who has settled down and has her priorities straight. It could also be that an older woman doesn't seem to want the same things as a younger woman.

While there are certain things all women want, older women dating younger men have special desires. Older women are typically financially independent, unlike many younger women. They don't necessarily expect a man to lavish them with expensive gifts and take care of them as some young women do.

An older woman is in a relationship less for money reasons and more for physical and emotional reasons. Because of this, older women can seem more like "real" women to some younger men. And at the same time, they may view women their age as just "girls."

Some younger men may be attracted to older women because they want to be taken care of. There are situations where they fall into roles like that. Sometimes older women may even be looking for a younger man to dote on and take care of.

Most often, however, an older woman simply wants someone who can fulfill her sexually and emotionally. She will rarely think of him as a boy, but instead thinks of men her age as older than they are. That could be because they've settled down a bit too much, and seem to be dragging her down.

Respect is key in the relationship. It can be a good thing to find out exactly what the other expects to get from the relationship in the very beginning. That's a good first step to older women dating younger men successfully and making it work for the long term.

Suzanne

1.) Be yourself You wont be able to keep up a faade forever. So, dont start a relationship by playing a role. You will want to play to your strengths and present your best face to your date. But dont try to fool him into thinking you are someone you are not. First of all, you cant keep it up for the long haul. But, more importantly, you dont want him falling in love with an image. If you are an outspoken person, its best to not temper your views just to make a good impression. That is not the person you are, so dont make him think it is.

2.) Be confident You are a worthy person and you have a lot to offer. Many women have low self esteem and they lack the confidence needed to be successful on a date. But, guys like confident women. They need to know that they will have a partner. They dont want to carry all of the weight in the relationship. If you are confident, you will have a much higher chance of getting a second date.

3.) Be positive No guy wants to hear about how awful your day was, how your mom annoys you, or how your boss doesnt appreciate your work. He wants to hear that you have a happy outlook on life. Face it: who would you rather spend time with, a person who is depressed and down in the dumps all of the time or someone who is optimistic about the future? Thats his answer too!

4.) Express your opinions Too many women are afraid to express their opinions about things for fear of turning a guy off. But men dont want doormats. They want to be with interesting women. And interesting women have opinions. While some cavemen may think that a woman must mirror his opinions, a real man is comfortable enough with his own views to appreciate hearing a different perspective. And, if hes not comfortable with your opinions now, he wont be in six months!

5.) Accept compliments One of the biggest mistakes women make is to turn aside compliments. Men like to tell the women in their lives that they are attractive, sexy, or smart. Almost by reflex, women deflect these complements. If he says he likes your hair, dont tell him about how awful it really looks. Just say, thank you and smile. When you can take a compliment in stride, you are a more attractive date.

6.) Show the guy a good time Hes only going to want to go out with you on a second date if he has fun on the first date. If he laughs a lot during the date, he is going to want to come back for more.

7.) Give yourself an escape route Never go out on a date with a guy that you dont know well if you dont have an escape route. Its best to meet somewhere public on a first date rather than have him pick you up at your home. If you do let him pick you up, make sure you have cab fare home. Let your roommates or friends know who you are going out with. Dont find yourself in a dangerous situation just because you havent been cautious enough up front.

Suzanne

You need to be able to think both long and hard about whether or not you really want your ex back, and what initially led to the break up in the first place.

The next logical step is to do whatever it takes to once again become the man or woman that your ex fell in love with in the first place. Was your ex attracted to you because you fulfilled their emotional needs? How have you changed since that point in time? By correcting bad habits and learning from past mistakes you can learn to be the person he or she once loved unquestioningly again.

It is important that you try to use the past to your advantage in as many ways as you possibly can. Learn from past mistakes, and take advantage of past successes. If you know which outfit he loved best, wear it out again. If you know which compliments got the best smiles out of her, begin to make them again, subtlety of course. If you know which bad habits or mistakes turned your ex away, eliminate them from your life and see how things change.

Use a plutonic or non committal get together as a way to do something nice with your ex. Ask your ex to play miniature golf with you and friends, or share a drink in the presence of others. Do something with your ex that friends can easily do just as well as lovers, and keep things fun.

Let your ex remember why he or she loved you in the first place, and everything else will simply seem to fall in place easily and naturally. Learning all about the solutions to the age old question "How do I get back with my ex?" is not difficult by any means. What it does involve, however, is taking the right first steps and then simply letting everything else fall into place as naturally as possible. The rest is simply all about letting nature take its course.

Suzanne